Apparently, the diversity of education and media consumption are leading to greater cultural differences between individuals. I remember some of the other students disagreeing. They said the internet was bringing people together. He said that was only an illusion. He said that social media gives people the feeling of keeping in touch with others, without the interaction and relationship building. At the time, I felt he had a good point. I have known many people who feel alone and disconnected even in intimate relationships, or with hundreds of friends on social media. I felt his explanation had some merit to it. Even more so now that I see it is an intentional social pattern, created by those who want to control large populations of people.
I thought about how children are expected to move out after high school, go to college or work for several years in a dead end job, where they make new friends, and cut ties with old ones. After they do get a more permanent job, the career moves and transfers kick in. With every move, people grow, change, and adopt new cultural values from those they meet. It makes the old friendships harder to maintain. The cultural differences they bring with them, make it harder to integrate into the new social environments. The cycle repeats every time a person goes off to work in another place, leaving the relationships they have established behind.
When I accepted the new job in Taiwan, I was ready for one of those changes. I felt like my career had stagnated, like I was expected to leave work and have children. It was made clear to me that I would not be promoted anymore where I was. The only way I could advance in my career was to change companies.
This led me to think about how people in modern cities often run away from problematic situations rather than trying to resolve misunderstandings and broken relationships. Many of the people I know are lonely even when they are in stable relationships. It’s like all these failed relationships and lost friends build up over time, and cause people to be more distrustful and feel isolated. Many seem to think they just cannot be around other people, and consider themselves introverts.
I know that statistically isolation grows with age among the population in western society. Health problems increase for those who are alone, as well as suicides. People with partners, families, and communities live longer, healthier lives.
I felt a lot of what I was once passionate about coming back to me. It became apparent to me, that my career had been stagnating my interests in social dynamics, which I had been so interested in during college. There were so many things I wanted to ask him, since this topic was along the lines of my field of study. However, I have to maintain the appearance of ignorance and complicity in understanding what he says. I felt my questions would trigger a negative reaction and instigate suspicion. Narcissists have a switch, that when activated, spirals downward into paranoia and resentment. Once started, it cannot be stopped. I have to be careful.
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